i can fly! at least, i think i can

Anyone here watch Numb3rs back in the day? I'm on like S3E5ish now and I can't believe how sucked in I got. Shit, the show's making me want to know more about math! I get really excited when I know what Charlie is talking about, like network analysis or logistic regression.

I also LOVE Megan and Larry together. He's just left for space now; I hope he comes back at some point? :( But, more proof I have a thing for brawn/brains combo. And for once, it's a het pairing! I just really have a type.

I am particularly intrigued by Don Eppes, though. So normally, when I end up liking a slash (or femmeslash) pairing, my characters are always bi in my head (unless they are identified as gay, like in Queer As Folk). I see canon het relationships and then I like them with a guy and it just fits both canon and my head canon. Obviously, I know that there are people out there who only very late and after being married come out and identify as gay or lesbian. But often I try to take canon in with my head canon and as a result, I prefer to write and read my stories with the characters as bi. Don, is a rare case where, in my head, he is gay. To me, it's two part. One, I simply do not see sexual chemistry between him and the girls they put him with. Now, the character (or the actor?) exudes sexuality...like when he starts making out with Liz in S3, the way he kind of stalks her a bit (with his movements, not creepily) was incredibly HOT. But then, he starts kissing her and it just fizzled for me. Like, it did not feel like there was anything between the characters at all. Two, I feel like Don being gay would explain several aspects of his personality? Like, why he doesn't date that much. I see Don not out to his family, for fear of their reaction. He's always felt he had to be a model for Charlie; I could see him worrying that he wouldn't be the right kind of model, despite Charlie being a grown man. But if Don knew he was gay around 20 or even 25, Charlie would still have been young and "impressionable". I also understand that while the FBI doesn't (didn't) have DADT, it is a "masculine" position/organization - particularly when you consider his past in manhunting. I really see that as an influence on Don's attitude towards homosexuality - that he might present an image that wasn't tough enough, or wouldn't be respected by his peers if he came out. And finally, what makes Don a weird character for me, is that I don't ship him with anyone. It looks like Don/Charlie was the number one pairing, but nope. I just don't see him with anyone who has been on the show. So I have a head canon that's entirely different from the show, and I don't ship him with anyone. Basically, I want to write and read Don/OMC. Which, there was like 3 on AO3. And no one reads those (is there anyone in this fandom anymore, anyway?). It's a very strange place for me.

I also, feel like Don Eppes and John Sheppard would be either besties, or twins separated at birth. Their manerisms are similar, their attitude, down to their stride, even. I see a great deal of similarity between the two. (I mean, they even play big brother to a brother who got more care from Dad - Charlie because he was a genius and Dave because he was closer to their dad's ideal son than John was.)

Likewise, I really feel like Rodney McKay and Larry would be besties. Like, Larry would be the one guy in the physics community McKay would have gotten along with. They could certainly have epic food discussions (McKay with his lemons, Larry with his white food). Also, they can bond over their federal agent/military significant others and how they mess with their science orderly lives.

So I kind of want this SGA/Numb3rs crossover where McKay needs Larry in Atlantis or there's a Vegas-like situation where the Atlantis team ends up overseeing the LA FBI's case or something and they find out these connections...and John clues Don into coming out to his friends and family or something.Maybe John and Don even messed around at some point?!

Thinky thoughts, written into the void. :) (And yes, Skye, I know I should be watching Agents of Shield.lol)

Sometimes, TV makes me so sad. And I don't mean when an episode or moment makes me cry. But rather, how books have endings, even if they don't have endings. When I read a book series, it may take me a few days to get over it or to break myself out of that world. But once I do, it's like an old friend that you can occasionally revisit, or maybe the friends whom you drifted apart from, but you know that somehow, they're doing okay.

But TV, man. Fuck cancellation and even just series ends. For me, it's not the same, for some reason. Worst of all, is the cancellation. The X-Files, for instance, will always be my favorite show just because of nostalgia. I grew up on it (illicitly) and came into fandom with it. I sometimes feel tremendous loss, but it the closest I feel to having a "book ending". Cancellations, though. Firefly and how it could have been so much more. Other shows like Dark Angel or V or Terra Nova where you're left wondering what great things would have come next or what the answer was. Then there's the bitter endings, like Heroes, where ultimately, while I miss the show, by the end it was so fucked up; I am bitter because of what it could have been.

But does anyone else have just that one show? That favorite show that maybe didn't leave a giant question hanging or end naturally, but that, it seems like your soul dreadfully misses? Excuse me while I have a super dramatic moment here, but I will forever be upset over the cancellation of Stargate Atlantis. I remember how little interest I had in SG1 or SGA back in 2005 when I saw my first episodes. Hell, I only got into SGA because my computer had died and it was the "best" thing on basic cable one night in my dorm. And I wasn't even thrilled with where the show was headed per se. While I didn't mind Keller (especially in comparison to Katie, UGH), I didn't like the writing of it, and the return to Earth made me annoyed (though if it had gone into another season instead of just a movie, I think it would have been cool to see some politics play out (and hopefully a declaration of independence) - I still just get this intense longing for the show to be around. I miss the boys and the humor and it's cheesyness and the love it gave me. I legitimately think, I feel more upset about the loss of that TV show than a) any other and b) nearly anything in life. Losing SGA feels like a friend I've lost who just one day started giving me the cold shoulder and never, ever, told me why she was upset or why we weren't friends anymore; I'm incomplete - not because I didn't get the final answer, but because it's gone and will never come back. And I go back and rewatch it, but it's not the same and it makes the ache worse. It's physical, even. And so bad, even fanfic can't fill it!

Hi, I'm MF Luder, and I'm in love with a cancelled TV show, and I'll never be over it.

This rambling brought to you by 3:30am, loneliness, and a rewatch of Aurora.

(Also, hey, sorry I haven't been around much, I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues that have made thinking or sitting down to write up reviews of the things I've seen rather difficult. Sorry I'm not being a good fandom friend right now!)

You know if John had kids he'd totally do this and Rodney would be facepalming his way through all the neighborhoods as Shep blasted the Top Gun theme song - even though he was the one who rigged the sound system - and Madison would tag along singing because while she's in a princess dress (no seriously, did you note the cute little blonde girl?) Uncle John has taught her an appreciation for planes and she's only 10 but she kind of wants to be like him when she grows up. Just in a pretty dress. And Jeanie would be all, "Mer, it's Halloween, let him have some fun," and Rodney would be all "ADJSKSH;" and Caleb would just smile and make sure Madison didn't eat too much candy before they got home.

BRB, puking rainbows.



(Side note: my layout is suddenly cutting off the vids and graphics I post, does anyone else see this or are you getting the whole image? Anyone know how to fix this?)

There's a very common photo of McKay and Sheppard where McKay is looking at what I think is a lifesigns detector and John is peering over his shoulder. BUT I SUDDENLY CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE. I thought I had it in my save photos, but I don't for some insane reason. And I can't remember the episode for the life of me.

PLEASE SOMEONE SHARE IT BECAUSE...



I am convinced that someone should write the fic where McKay is body-swapped into some character of Misha's. Maybe Jacob (Stonehenge Apocalypse), maybe Castiel, but COME ON. I am nearly positive their expressions and even the hand position are nearly identical.

ETA: Ahah! Thanks to annundriel for the cap! It's not the episode still I was thinking of, but it is a cap from the scene. Look at the furrowed brows, the hands!! Jacob and McKay are scientist twins separated at birth. *nods* (And somehow, he's also related to Daniel Jackson because come on. Fringe radio talk show host/scientist who believes Stonehenge has something to do with aliens? They stole that script right from Stargate!)



(Also, I'm loving Torri's hair long and straight. It makes her look younger!)

You know, I don't think I will ever understand the sheer hate that lies in the fandoms of Stargate: Atlantis and Supernatural. I mean, both shows have served their purpose. While there are certainly some writing issues, that happens in every show. But people become so defensive of their characters and it's like, I realize I'm heavily involved too, but IT'S JUST A TV SHOW. And if you really dislike it that much, STOP WATCHING. It's not worth your time and stress, you know?

( I need to get this off of my chest, thank you. Now onto more homework. )

Last night I had another of those you-can-tell-Lucy-has-been-watching-too-much-TV dreams. Which is actually surprising because I haven't been watching all that much. I'm behind on many shows (I haven't even had a chance to start Heroes or BSG despite having them dled) thanks to my insanely busy life which keeps me from even having personal time, much less a social life as well as precluding me from writing on LJ often or doing any reviews. :-P

Anyway, dream. It's not all that long or even interesting, just somewhat...huh. And I love that I can Mary Sue myself all I want in dreams and no one can say no!!

( Randomness ensues )

To those of you who say the SGA writing staff writes their own fanboyness, here's proof:

Jadeski writes: “Question for Marty G: How do you feel about writing the most polarizing episodes of SGA? ‘Sunday’ and ‘Brainstorm’ come to mind immediately but I’m sure there were others. Do you set out to divide people or is it just one of those things?”

A:Not really. I write the shows I, the fan, want to see. Some people disagree with me…that’s really it. No nefarious plan…

BUT. BUT! He's also the biggest McShep fan ever. LOL

DemonHunter writes: “If Atlantis went on to season 6 would McKay have been a daddy next year???”

A: Yes…and Sheppard would have been the mommy. It would have been an awesome arch.

Oh, Martin!!

Sorry for not being around much. RL is KILLING me. I watched all my TV from last week, but have no time, nor even the coherency to make any real reviews. A few quick things though:

SGA

That look Sheppard gave McKay after Novo's comment about funny stories? HILARIOUS.

Fringe

Yawn-worthy the last two weeks. I think it's amazing everything they come across, oh, look. Walter has worked on a project that involved it. Getting predictable...

Mentalist

This week's was the best so far. Maybe I won't give it up quite yet.

NCIS

Very cute. And I love DiNozzo being so gung-ho to talk to Daddy!Gibbs. LOL

SPN

Not as good as PMP (you XF fans know to what i refer), but funny. Also...leiderhosen. HA!!!

Next week's Heroes

I don't like Mohinder at all anymore. Don't touch my Nathan!!

I am just seeing the S5 SG:Atlantis cast promos from MGM. Does it irritate anyone else that they look like cheesily made manips? Shouldn't promos actually look nice? I mean at least last season it was only the group photo that looked shoddy. This year, even the individuals are crap. :-P

Cast Promos

An analysis of JoeM's poem about the end of S4 and concerning S5. I will say I haven't any special info beyond that seen on his blog, so my word is neither completely baseless, nor entirely correct. It's just me, guessing. Spoilers for S4, including the most current aired ep, BAMSR.

Taken directly from Joe's Post. Nothing changed, my comments are in ()'s.

( Speculations... )

Well, what do YOU think?

Bonus that I think siberian_skys will enjoy: Torchwood S2 Spoiler...but it's hot men kissing!! Frankly, I'm willing to watch the show just for this scene!